Friday, 4 March 2016

Essay Feedback

Main points:

  • Overall essay is very good - use of triangulation and analysis of sources sufficient.
  • Include more quotes rather than just paraphrasing, and unpick these quotes.
  • Included main sources of research in the conclusion (Berger and Wolf)
  • Make sure conclusion emphasizes my key points.
  • Add more sources to bibliography (I didn't realise we could include sources not quoted in the essay)
  • Look at Rosalind Coward and Laura Mulvey - both have links to Berger
  • Search for criticisms and comments on sources I've quoted.
  • VISUAL - look at how advertising affects manifestations of femininity and masculinity in the real world - how people act and interact with each other.

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